Remember
by kairi-heartilly
Summary: If I had know that love could hurt so much… I probably would have avoided it at all cost. And if I had know that I would fall for him of all people who were living at the masion, I’d probably stayed away from him right from the beginning.


Hi folks! How are you doing? This is another new story written by me but I have to say that the characters do not belong to me. They belong to whoever it was who invented them. I don't really now, sorry. This is going to be a ROMY and I'd be glad if you'd review after reading ever chapter that will be posted. It feels good to get some feedback from you, really.

Chapter 1

If I had know that love could hurt so much… I probably would have avoided it at all cost. And if I had know that I would fall for him of all people who were living at the masion, I'd probably stayed away from him right from the beginning.

But it's easy to say something like that right now because I didn't know all this would happen and lost my heart to a man who could do nothing but break it right away. Maybe it's my fault to believe someone like him would want to be with someone like me? I really don't know right now… that's nothing new, is it? I can't think straight at the moment and I don't like it.

All those feelings make me vulnerable. And I don't want to be vulnerable anymore. There was a time when I couldn't touch anybody without hurting them and when I finally learned how to control my so called 'gift', I knew my greatest dream came true.

I wasn't forced to stay away from other people anymore and I could hardly believe I wasn't dreaming and would wake up anytime soon. And I guess that's one of the reasons I tried to be friends with the new guy when he arrived at the mansion.

He stayed away from most of the people as if he was afraid to make any friends. And I kinda felt sorry for him when I watched him staying away from everyone. Even Scott wasn't up to help him to get a good start at the masion after what had happened to Jean only a while before and I could understand that he wasn't up to helping others in this situation.

Logan was gone again and though I like him, I thought it was a good thing that he wasn't around when Gambit arrived at the mansion, saying he regretted what he'd done and really wanted to change. Logan was one of those people who almost never forget the mistakes of other people. On the other hand… he never forgets his own mistakes, either.

And I… well, I really knew how it felt to be the new one around and that I was happy when Bobby and I became friends. I almost forgot that we broke up only a few weeks before I learned to control my power. It's ironic, isn't it? I mean, he said all this stuff about us, this whole messed up situation and everything anf only a few weeks later everything changed and I felt almost… normal again.

We could have started all over again. Tried to forget the harsh words that had been spoken and pretended that we were still a real couple. But that would have been nothing but a fake, to be honest. And I wasn't up to another round of 'messing with Rogue's feelings'. If Logan had been around when we broken up… I don't even want to think about it. Everyone knows that Logan tries to protect me since we met.

I guess deviate from the subject. But I have to tell that I wasn't too heart-broken after the break-up with Bobby. There was so much going on back then, I was busy with extra lessons to learn how to control my power. Scott locked himself in his room for weeks and only appeared every now and then to pick um some water or food in the kitchen.

I know it had hurt when we broke up but I didn't feel as bad as I feel now. I mean, I wasn't up to falling in love after what had happened between me and Bobby.

Sometimes, I think I'm dogged by bad luck. I mean it.

I remember the first time I talked to Gambit and soon after that I started calling him Remy. His real name. I was sitting in front of the TV with some other people when I noticed him standing at the other end of the room, watching TV as well but staying away from us as if he thought we didn't want him to sit near us.

'Wearing his sunglasses again.' I had thought and decided to do something about his situation.

So I had stood up, left my place and walked over to him.

"What are ya doin' over here? Shouldn't ya be sittin' with the others if ya'd like to watch TV?" I had asked and felt kind of stupid. This was the only thing I was able to come up with after thinking about a while and I remember I wasn't too happy about it.

Well, it had worked, though.

"Not sure if ya're friends'd like me to join." He said and grinned. I felt as if he was amused that I was talking to him or he thought I was just trying to make fun of him. I knew he was always trying to flirt… or he had before he'd arrived at the masion. But I never thought he'd want to flirt with me.

I had shrugged. "It doesn't matter if they want ya there or not. They'll have to live it, no matter what."

"Did the prof. say that ya had to be nice to the new guy?" He had asked suddenly, a brow rising.

I had grinned and when I realized he had really meant this question my smile had faded. "Why should he? He'd never force us to be friends with someone." I had said, shaking me head. "Ya know, it's not easy being the new one."

"How would ya know?"

"Hmph. Ah thought better of ya, ya know. Ah thought ya'd remember the little girl Magneto tried to kill a few years ago." I tried to grin but failed miserably. Thinking of this long ago happened event still scared me, though Logan had been there to save me.

I still had nightmares, sometimes and I never talk about it.

His eyes had gone wide when he had realized what I had said. "That was ya?"

"Only a few days around at the mansion and then kidnapped and some crazy guy tried to kill me. Not a really good start if ya understand. Oh, yeah, and the fact that Ah was the girl that could never touch."

"The girl that could never touch?"

I had realized he hadn't known much about me and Magneto's plans at that time. After what I had heard about him he was also a thief, leaving and coming back to Magneto's team whenever he felt like it.

I had laughed and touched his hand. "I said Ah WAS the girl that couldn't touch. Not anymore."

"Care to tell me your name then?" He had asked and I had known I had made it. He'd opened up to me.

"Ah thought you'd know my name by now. It's Rogue."

"That's not your real name." He had said and seemed a little disappointed by my answer.

"Maybe Ah'll tell ya someday." I had laughed

He had returned my smile back then.

You wouldn't believe me that I'm a runaway again. I had taken one of Scott's bikes just left this place. I couldn't look into his face again after what had happened a few hours ago and I really hoped Scott wouldn't check on his bikes or cars before tomorrow. They wouldn't notice I was gone since I went away every now and then to think or to read.

I had picked up Logan's bad habits. Taking one of Scott's bikes without asking… but well, I could hardly ask him if he'd allow me to run away. After all, no matter if Scott and I are friends, he is one of my teachers.

Maybe I was just mad… or crazy or whatever it was I felt when all I knew was that I needed to leave this place behind and put some space between myself and Remy. When I thought about it right now… well, I didn't even think much before I left the mansion.

I remember leaving my room in a hurry, only taking a few clothes with me since I couldn't hardly take much when I was going to take one of Scott's bikes. My room was probably a mess right now – whoever was going to knock and enter my room first would be kind of shocked to see all kind of things on the floor.

Yeah, I couldn't bear to see his face ever again after tonight. I tried to forget everything that had happened. To forget how handsome this damn guy was and how much I liked his smile. How much I had liked to see him smile at me.

But I just can't forget him and all those pictures come back to my mind. I remember our first kiss. How my heart beat so fast I thought I would faint any moment. I was a real fool. To believe only one of his sweet words was meant.

Shame on me for believing he really loved me. And suddenly I can't help but laugh and at the same time I feel tears flowing down my cheeks. And I knew I couldn't drive on right now because I'd probably get myself killed if I couldn't see the street anymore.

But I didn't want to stop in the middle of nowhere and decided to at least reach the next hotel to spend the night at.

I can see lights ahead and I know it's probably a small village. And there they're again: all those pictures… and I can't block them. This time the memories of others aren't the ones haunting me. My own memories haunt me no matter what I do. And I tell myself it's silly to cry because of him but my heart tells me otherwise and I'm so confused right now.

Those are happy memories and they hurt so much because of this one memory I want to forget. I can't pretend it never happened, though. I saw him kissing this other woman… a blonde one… and I suddenly knew that I had lost.

I'm not sure if Remy even noticed me standing in the doorway and running away after I finally realized that this wasn't a nightmare. All I know is that I can see the word "HOTEL" in huge, green letters in front of me and I stop.

And I cried myself asleep that night.

Scott wasn't sure what bothered him this morning but he'd woken up earlier than all those weary days before. In the middle of the night he'd thought to hear the sound of a bike but thought that it was maybe Logan coming back from wherever it was where he had spent the last few months and didn't feel like getting up and telling him never to touch one of his bikes ever again.

Such things could wake until it wasn't so dark outside anymore. But when he thought of it now again, he remembered the sound of the bike fading away and that meant someone had left the mansion.

A little worried, he got up and walked through the mansion and as he passed Rogue's room which was only a few doors away from his own, he knocked. He didn't know what it was that made him do this but he felt the need to make sure she was allright.

She was usually up until now, sitting at one of the huge windows in the corridor and reading a novel – but not today and though it was possible that she just didn't feel like getting up early today he just couldn't help but think that this didn't sound like the Rogue he knew.

He realized that nobody answered his knocking and called her name several times before opening the door and breathed in deeply. The room was a complete mess. Things lying everywhere, some things gone, he noticed suddenly.

The long green coat that usually hung next to her bed was gone.

The next thing he remembered was running down to the garage and he knew at once that another one of his bikes was missing. He wasn't mad at her like he was mad at Logan but deeply worried.

Though he tried to calm himself by telling himself that she could've just went to the city to get something, he knew that she wasn't coming back soon. And on his way to the prof. he started to figure out what could have made her run.

And there could ony be one answer: Remy.

Xavier had already tried to find her with the help of cerebro but simply couldn't. It was as if she had just disappeared all of sudden. And he knew very well that she was able to block his search simply by keeping her mutation under control. He'd thaught her well, he had to admit.

Sooner or later she'd maybe use her powers but until then there was no chance to find her that way. And in his office waited a nervous Scott and Remy.

"Did you find her?" Scott asked as he entered the room but swore when the prof. shook his head. "What if she needs help?"

Remy stared at him, not really knowing what was going on but worried as well. All he had managed to understand from Scott's shouting was Rogue and that was enough to make him worry.

"What's going on? Where is the fille?" He asked and stepped back to avoid contact with Scott's fist.

"How dare you to even ask! You must know what made her run away again tonight!" He shouted. Rogue had been there for him, not giving up on him no matter how many times he'd send her away when she'd knocked at his door, bringing food, books and water with her. Sometimes, she had sit with him and just listened, hugging him and saying soothing words while she assured him she understood.

And she did. She was the only one who wouldn't ask him to forget but to go on.

Remy paled as he understood for the first time that Rogue had left. "She what!"

"She ran away! Do I have to spell it for you or what!"

"Scott, calm down. It's no use in shouting at him like that."

"But prof…."

"Where's Rogue?" Remy asked and sat down. He felt guilty again and remembered hearing steps during the last night when Belle had appeared at the mansion all of sudden. She'd asked him to come back to New Orleans, to come back to her and she had kissed him…

He had pushed her away and told her that he was in love with another one but the steps he'd heard…

Maybe it had been Rogue… and what she saw made her jump to conclusions… not that he could blame her. If he'd seen her in that position with Drake, he'd probably freaked out like never before.

But Rogue hadn't screamed, hadn't shouted and tried to talk to him. She'd run away instead… Breathing was hard suddenly. She'd never been keen to talk much about her past but he'd know that she had been on the run before she came to the mansion. And he'd never thought she was up to run away again…

"She can't be far…" He started but his hopes were shattered when Scott glared at him and explained that she could be in the middle of nowhere by now because she'd taken one of his bikes.

"Have you seen her room yet? It looks like she couldn't stand this house another minute!"

"But we have to do something!" Remy said and forced his brain to work straight. "If she'll keep going by bike… I think she'll have to fill up with petrol. Maybe we can find her by asking people if they've seen her?"

"She's good in staying out of trouble, prof. I don't think people will recognize her because she'll probably stay away from places where people look closer at strangers. I'm not sure if she'll even keep the bike or go back to hitchhiking again. That's how she met Logan, after all." Scott said and shook his head. "

"But there has to be something we can do!" Remy couldn't believe there was nothing to do about this situation. "Ah'll go looking for her!"

"Good luck!" Scott said sarcastically. "The country is huge and she could be anywhere!"

The weather had changed during the night, I noticed miserably. Somehow, the rain matched my mood at this moment totally fine but I wasn't keen on going outside while it rained cats and dogs. But on the other hand I knew the chance that someone had noticed I was gone was huge and they'd try to find me before I could put too much space between me and the mansion.

Sighing, I stood up and went outside. Heavy raindrops falling down as I pulled my cloak tighter around myself. It was cold and I knew it wasn't going to be any warmer soon. It was autumn, after all and it was supposed to cool down during this time of the year.

The sound of the engine got carried away by the wind. Somehow, I felt as if something was going to happen soon and I wasn't sure if it was something good or bad. No matter what, I'd better start to leave this place behind.

I knew it was foolish to drive while it rained cats and dogs and in my mind I heard Logan say something about me being crazy and that I should drive back to the mansion right now or better stop somewhere and call Scott to pick me up. But I refused to listen to that voice.

There were no houses to be seen nearby and all I wanted to do was to forget. I was lost in thoughts while I drove on. And then there were the lights of a car and I knew I wouldn't be able to make way for it. I hurt a strange sound as my bike was hit by the car and then everything went black.

Someone was calling something like "Miss" all the time and all I knew was that I felt dizzy. Slowly the world went back to normal. I recognized that it was a guys voice calling and he looked down at me, his light blue eyes full of concern.

"Please, miss, wake up."

I groanded and tried to sit up but my whole body ached like I had been in a car crash or something like that. And when I looked around I realized, merely surpised, that it seemed that just that had happened to me. My head hurt like it had never before and has the stranger helped me sit up I almost laughed.

The bike looked like it was totally crashed and it looked… like I had never seen it before. Strange, why had I been on that bike if it wasn't mine?

"Miss, are you allright? I don't have a mobile phone with me right now but I can drive you to the next hospital." He was as pale as I thougt I might be. "My name is Kyle, miss. What's your name?"

I blinked and stared at him. I opened my mouth to say something and closed it again. Not that I didn't want to tell him my name but I just couldn't remember it. "Ah don't know." I said, suddenly laughing. "I just don't know."

"Do you know where you came from? Or where you were heading before the accident?" The guy named Kyle asked and I shook my head.

"I don't even think this is my bike." I said and turned towards the bike. "There's a name on the back – wait… Scott Summers… I have no idea who this is…"

'Did I nick this bike?' I suddenly wondered and shook my head.

"Miss, is there a place I could bring you to?" He offered kindly and I shook my head again.

"Ah don't know…"

And then there was a slight flash of memory… 'mutant', it said and his eyes widened while I recognized I had said that out loud.

"Don't worry, miss. I won't hurt you." His voice sounded slightly hurt and I shook my head again.

"Ah meant mahself." I said and stared at my hands. I knew I could easily copy his powers, whatever the included by using my own powers but that was the only thing about myself that I knew.

"Oh. Then don't worry either." He looked around. "Seems like you've been on the run… maybe there was someone after you?" He mused and helped me stand up. "Let's go to a dry and safe place where other friends are waiting." He said and I didn't say anything against it. I had nothing to lose.


End file.
